On April 23 2022, a local media outlet in Arunachal Pradesh posted a video of a young lady, on her way back home at night, pleading with the driver of a public commute (a tempo) to end the ride at her requested stop. The video footage that has gone viral ever since, was captured by the lady herself (perhaps a livestream), where she was heard repeatedly requesting the driver to stop the ride (which he failed to comply quite blatantly) and continued the ride while ignoring her pleas.  

The premise of the video affirmed that the lady was the only passenger in the tempo at the time, and the driver started taking advantage of the situation by forcing her to hang out with him for a drink. However, she kept rejecting his offers and instead was heard saying,  "Brother, stop the vehicle! You will miss my stop.", "Brother, stop or I will jump out.", "Stop brother, or I will call my brother “. However, none of her pleas concerned him, as he seemed determined to not drop her off at the stop requested. Instead, the driver catcalls her "mean" for not reciprocating positively to his inappropriate behaviour. The girl says "stop here" more than 10 times in the video. The footage further reveals that the driver ultimately had to end the ride, as she was equally being persistent and patient with her words and action. Although she maintained her politeness, she did not give him any cue to proceed with his intentions. You can say that she handled the situation very well. 

It was good to learn that nothing untoward happened with the lady in the end. However the footage raised some critical concerns. Despite the footage revealing the nuisance that a woman in our society is subjected to face (a sad reality for many women), there were many people in the comments section of the video who quickly jumped to the conclusion that it was a fake video and started judging the morale of the girl. Here’s a snapshot of some of the comments, which goes on to reaffirm the sorry state of affairs when it comes to public sensitisation of sensitive cases. 

Several people assumed that the video is fake saying:

Others just blatantly questioned the character and chastity of the girl:

And other commenters- although concerned, were just condemning the girl in the video (and girls in general) for simply using their right to freedom.

We cannot claim to verify the authenticity of the video either. However, it is indeed clear (after carefully viewing the video) that the girl tried filming the footage without the driver’s knowledge. You never know what kind of creep you can be dealing with, and what could be his actions on being provoked (after finding out that he is being recorded by the girl). In this case, the distress in her pleas were clear. 

It is not to dismiss the possibility of the video being scripted, as there are several cases of misrepresentation in social media. However, we also cannot reject the possibility of the video being completely authentic as well. That renders the whole blame game on the girl (or the accused) pointless! 

But one cannot deny that these things do not happen. Our generation has seen uncountable instances of victims (mostly women) at the receiving end of harassment - be it in public places or behind closed doors. Some women are able to get out of a situation smartly, whereas many others fall prey to a lifelong worth of trauma and social stigmas following them at every step of the way. But we feel sorry for the victims only after a crime is committed. 

The comments on the video goes on to show that we are comfortable in rejecting the plausibility of such cases if the girl is able to get out of the situation unharmed. It begs the question - does a girl need to sit through a crime being committed on her before people start taking it seriously? This is perhaps the reason why offenders do not think twice before committing a crime. 

According to some concerned samaritans, the onus of being safe should only be with the girl when going out at night, implying that a girl ‘should know’ that these things can happen.  So she should wear clothing which does not attract attention, avoid travelling alone because anybody can take advantage of the situation, and should overall restrict her movements, because it is simply not safe outside.

Is it not ironic that at a time when women empowerment, equality and safety are supposedly the ‘core agenda’ of our governing institutions, women are still oppressed for having  ‘freedom’, ‘a choice’, or an ‘opinion’? 

A few people in the comments also had a say about the girl sitting in the front along with the driver - 

There is no basis that makes it prohibited for girls to sit in the front along with the driver. It may not be a common occurrence, but it isn’t an absurd thing to do. Many female passengers may choose to sit in the front seat when the backseats are already occupied. And many passengers (female) among them may choose to remain in their seat (front) even if seats in the back become available, as they have to get down in the next stop or so either way.  And it is entirely possible that the girl in the video may have thought the same while being seated in-front with the driver (which again isn’t prohibited or a taboo). 

But cases such as this which makes people comment jump to conclusion quickly and pass their social media judgement really does damage the morale of actual victims. Aruanchal Pradesh (along with many other regions in India) has seen a rise in harassment cases against women in the recent years. However, is the society kind to girls in the aftermath of being the victim in cases such as this? The comments  tell us otherwise. It is disturbing to see people still victim-shaming the girl despite knowing that these things indeed do happen. 

So, when are we going to have a real discussion about these issues as a responsible society and stop the game of ‘victim-shaming’? I believe, it is high time that we do.